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A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it. Frank A. Clark Positive Discipline without Hurting your Child
Children always seem to find a way to 'push our buttons' at times and really try our patience. It's easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It's at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it's imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let's face it - none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.
Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.
Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they've misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it's not the child you dislike; it's his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed.
If you need to, give yourself a brief 'time out' before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children's misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option.
Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it's important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.
Parenting Toddler
This is also a great time to include some responsibility in your child's routine, such as helping to set or clear the table.
You might want to consider writing these on a slip of paper as 'currency' for the child to keep in their 'privilege bank' and they can cash it in with you when they'd like. If there are interruptions in either of these processes, misbehaviors from the child can result. Talk with them about the toilet, a special place where they can potty just like the big kids. Make sure they understand that it's okay to make mistakes. Spouses must work together and be a strong example for their children by completing their own chores each day. They are also great educational tools. Praise your child's good behavior and traits often, and help them realize how good it feels inside to do a good deed or be generous with another person.
Sing some favorite silly songs on the way to daycare, or make that drive to and from school a great opportunity to discuss what's happening in your child's life.
And keep an open mind when a child wants to discuss their thoughts or express their opinions about chores. It's a parent's job to provide love, safety and encouragement. Each year thousands of children continue to die as a result of physical abuse. My schedule's crazy enough as it is! A kitchen timer is helpful in counting down your child's punishment time. So be sure to admire and congratulate your child and celebrate the good person they are growing into by praising their positive actions, behaviors and traits daily.
